Love or Lust?
by Heav3n
Summary: Elizabeth Howard just wants a man who will love her for herself. This is her journey through the Reformation and Henry's Great Matter and how she finds love in these testing times. Even if her love is sinful.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Tudors or the History. No matter how much I want to. I own William Brent and little Beth, everyone else were real poeple so I couldn't possibly own them.

This is my first fanfic, so please guys be nice. Um... review if you wish to. Flattery is welcome by the way and so is criticism because I know I'm not the greates of writers around. Hey, but I try. That counts for something, right? Anyway, I really hope it meets your standards. I would love it if you shared ideas. Plus, anyone who wants to help me with the language and point out any mistakes. I have no knowledge of how people spoke during 15th or 16th century, unfortunately. Everything in this is what I gathered from watching 'The Tudors' over and over again in the internet. Oh and um, I love you guys who read my stuff and appreciated it.

**Characters:**

_Thomas Howard, Earl of Surrey -30_

_Anne, Countess of Surrey - 27_

_Elizabeth of York, Queen of England - 36_

_Henry Tudor, King of England - 45_

_William Brent - 17_

_Elizabeth Howard - newborn_

* * *

><p>1502<p>

As the sun rose on the fifth day of november, the Countess of Surrey went in labour for the third time. The two sons she bore for her husband, Thomas Howard, Lord Surrey, Henry and William had both died in infancy. A princess of England by blood, Anne of York was a viable candidate for the throne of England. Her eldest sister and brother-in-law, the present monarchs of England themselves had founded an unstable and young dynasty with as less Plantegenet blood as imaginable. Thomas Howard, being one of the most ambitious and powerful duke in England is just waiting for his chance to advance his own interests and lands.

The midwives and ladies-in-waiting for the countess rush in and out of the birthing chamber. Outside in the halls, a page awaits for news of the countess for his master the Lord Surrey. William Brent is his name, he's a farmer's son, only seventeen summers old and expecting a child of his own in the new year. A scream echoes in the chamber and he flinches thinking of what his young bride would go through in few months. He's so pale in fright for the countesses' life that one might mistake him for a ghost. A few minutes later another cry could be heard but this one was low and akin to a cat's mewling. He hears the midwives walk to the door near him and he knows that his master would be pleased.

"Master Brent." the old midwife calls for him from the door and he hurries to her, "My lady has had a healthy baby girl. The princess is fairing well though the bleeding isn't stopping" she tells him before withdrawing to the chamber once again.

Master Brent immediately gets into action. He has perfectly memorized the rooms of Framlingham and finds himself outside Lord Surrey's room, a few minutes later. His master bids him in after he knocks on the door softly twice.

Thomas Howard seemed to have aged more in the last five hours than he had in the last few years of his life, Master Brent observed before relaying him the news. "My lord, the princess has given birth to a healthy daughter." William whispered as he had been commanded few hours before by the Earl. The man gave a mere nod at the news and left for his wife's chambers. Master Brent was confused at his master's reaction. He wondered why the Earl didn't smile or even speak on the news of his child's birth. Then he remembered that this man was not a simple man. He was the Earl of Surrey and heir to the Duke of Norfolk, he needed a son to suceed him, not a daughter. Master Brent then decided that he'd be happy whether his wife gave him a girl or a boy, for he loved her. Love, he knew for sure, wasn't what was needed in a marriage for his master, so he just sighed and followed the grim Earl.

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><p>Anne of York wasn't the most happy wife in England but she had accepted that there would be no prince charming for her. Even though she was a princess by birth. Her husband wasn't the most affectionate of men but she had forced herself to be content in knowing he was faithful to her. When they were both young, they may have had some romantic assent but in time it faded along with their innocence and immaturity. After two dead son, a miscarriage and a stillborn, Anne had given up her hope for a child. But now in her seven and twenty years, she was happy. God had given her all the happiness in the world in form of her precious daughter that slept peacefully next to her bosom.<p>

Her husband had just visited her and their only child to congratulate her, as if the child were not his. Anne knew that her husband's affections were dwindling. She had lost his heart in a time she couldn't even remember but it was good to know that it wasn't someone else's. Now though, there were rumors of a mistress he kept in court. A young maid in the queen, her sister's, households and a daughter of a baron.

But her heart wasn't heavy nor was her stomach horridly lurching to spill out bile. She simply didn't care. Her daughter was the only thing that troubled her. Her other children had been strong and healthy too and they hadn't survived their first year. Anne prayed to God to let her daughter grow up and live, love and have the happy ending Anne had never had. She wished that she'd live to see her grow but it was useless, she knew she was dying. The midwives had done what they could but the bleeding wouldn't stop. She felt cold and stiff, lightheadedness engulfed her every now and then. Anne knew what she had to do so she called for her husband.

Few moments later, she heard her husband approaching her chambers but the numbness in her body wouldn't allow her to move. Seeing her difficulty in moving, Thomas took the gurgling child in his arms and helped her sit up. "Thomas." Anne's cheerful voice was just a whisper now. For the first time, Thomas was scared that his wife may not survive the birth. "You came." she whispered as if she'd expected him to not come. Thomas scolded himself for ignoring his wife during the pregnancy. He had wanted to talk to her about their daughter's name and christening but he hadn't thought of the possibility that Anne may die in childbirth.

"Of course I did, my love." he tried to sound as affectionate as he could but he failed. He was scared and worried for his friend, his only confidant he had had when he was young. Never had he thought of Anne as weak. She may have been quite and less talkative among her sisters but she was far more cleverer than them. Her intelligence in the Latin doctrines had amazed him when he first found her reading one during their early years of marriage. They'd read some together in their spare time and discussed them in detail but in the private walls of their chamber. It was clear that women were not to be encouraged in such matters, Thomas agreed. But his Anne was so clever and when she thought something was true she'd stand beside it for her life. She was stubborn like her father. His Anne. Thomas hadn't called her that since he was a young soldier going to war with the Scots.

"What do you want to name her?" Anne's quite voice made him think. He thought of his mother when he looked down at his daughter. She had his mother's dark brown eyes but his sister-in-law's gold-auburn curls. He then realized that she was his first daughter. Anne and him had buried two sons but they had never had a daughter before. Her features were identical to his own with the exception of her nose, he observed. She had Anne's well-shaped nose instead of his sharp one. He laughed softly at how he had grieved at his beautiful daughter's birth. She'd have every lord in England courting her and asking for her hand in marriage, he mused to himself. He thought of naming her Anne but immediately dismissed the thought, his wife would never name her child after herself. There was only one another he could think of that would befit his daughter.

"Elizabeth Howard. After my mother and your sister." he said admiring his little girl's fingers and kissing them softly when she unclenched it. "Beth." he murmured and the newborn in his arms stared at him as if giving her consent. He heard Anne giggle beside him and looked at her to ask what she found so comical. "What is it, my love?" he asked in all seriousness.

Anne stopped giggling immediately and held her arms out to hold Beth. Thomas wanted to hit himself for being so harsh and reluctantly gave his Beth to Anne. He stood up to leave and placed a chaste kiss in his wife's cheeks before turning to leave. "Wait!" he stopped when he heard the pleading in her voice. "I wanted my sister, the Queen and your sister Elizabeth to be the god mothers of our child." Thomas heard her get slightly breathless at the end and his heart ached a little for his companion. God couldn't be so merciless and take my wife from me when she had just got the daughter she'd always secretly wished for, Thomas thought while looking at his Anne's paling face.

"I'll see to it. Rest, my love." he took her hand in his and then rested it back in the bed before leaving to make the arrangements for Beth's christening and send letters to his relatives for the news. He felt excitement bubble in his chest as he thought of his little Beth again. She was his jewel on Earth.

* * *

><p>Elizabeth had been waiting for the letter from Lord Surrey and it had finally come. Of course, her mother-in-law and husband had gone through it already but she had nothing to hide. She wasn't plotting anything with anyone as her husband and mother-in-law expected. Elizabeth was more than happy to sit back and let Henry take care of politics, her heart wasn't made to be ruthless and back stabbing like many of the courtiers and politicians were. Including Lord Surrey, her brother-in-law. The Queen would never write or expect a letter from the foul man but in the name of her sister she was forced to. She opened the perfectly folded parchment and began to read.<p>

To Her Majesty The Queen Elizabeth of York,

I am writing this letter in relation to the Countess successfully birthing a healthy child. We have named her Elizabeth in my mother and your majesty's honour. Anne is healthy for now but the physicians say that it might not be as such if the bleeding doesn't stop. I'm deeply saddened to inform you that by the time this letter reaches you, your sister will be in God's heavenly kingdom. It was her wish that your majesty be our daughter's god mother. I shall be forever grateful for your acceptance to my wife's as well as mine request.

Thomas Howard, Lord Surrey

Silver water drops were leaking from Elizabeth's sea blue eyes by the time she'd finished reading it. Her heart broke hearing that her sister was no more. She'd lost her son earlier the year and her heart hadn't fully healed yet. Another death in her family only made her life more insufferable. She thought of her ill-fated brothers who had been lost to the Tower, her young siblings Mary, Margaret and George, all died so young and her own children who had died young. Her heart wasn't strong enough to withstand all the losses, she pleaded to God to stop taking her loved ones from her. After the dispute for the throne had concluded, half her family lay cold in the ground. She thought it'd never be that way again. She'd been wrong.

The child in her moved and she stopped crying after the child kept kicking. She feared for her unborn child, it kept moving when she was troubled but more so than her other children had. Only her Edmund had done that and he hadn't survived the first month of his life. Elizabeth couldn't afford to lose another child, with young Harry as her husband's only son they needed another boy to secure their line. As queen and wife it was her duty to bear children but she wished she wouldn't have to for another year or so. Her body was aching all over and her feet had swollen. Bearing a child also meant risking your own life, she didn't want to die so soon. She wanted to see her children grow, even the one growing inside her.

"His Majesty the King." the herald announced making Elizabeth jump. Henry would want to know how she was feeling right now. He'd been so grieved after their Arthur's death and she felt terrible for abandoning him while she mourned behind closed doors of her chamber. Her husband had become far more reserved with her than she was comfortable with. So she decided to change that.

"Elizabeth, why are you not resting as the midwife recommended?" Henry grumbled, clearly in a foul mood. Hence, Elizabeth decided maybe she'd try some other day when he's in better temperament.

"My sister Anne gave birth to a daughter although she lost her own life." she knew that her husband had read the letter from her brother-in-law but she had to say it aloud to tell him she was mourning her death. Henry sighed deeply next to her and put his hands on hers, clasping it tightly.

"That's exactly why I want you to rest, wife. Come now, to bed." he loosened his grip on her hand and stood. Elizabeth stood and walked to her bed to rest. The child was moving again and she didn't want to risk anything regarding her or the child's health. She stopped when she reached the door to her bed chambers.

"They want me to be baby Elizabeth's godmother." she mentioned even when she knew he had read that damned letter.

"I forbid you to travel anywhere until you have the child. I'll send our Lady Mother to stand proxy." King Henry said and the Queen nodded in agreement. She wasn't sure if she could stand to be in the place where her sister spend her last days without feeling guilty or grieved. Her husband always did the right thing so she trusted him with this as well. When her husband left her privy chambers, she entered her bedchambers and Lady Gordon helped her change into her nightgown.

She slept uneasily thinking of her sister, her newborn niece and the unborn child inside her. Her dreams were filled with the loved ones she had lost in the previous years. And some faces she didn't recognize but she could tell they were her family. They all looked happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own The Tudors or History. Only Beth and Anne (Howard not Boleyn.)

Thanks for the reviews, **mentos93** and **valleydew**. I'll try to make it good for you two and I'm puttin' up three more chapters. I love you guys for reviewing. Review more and I will update often. Again, language, I'm sorry if it's too modern for the time. And Elizabeth Stafford is older than in real life and sister of Edward, Duke of Buckingham and not daughter.

**Characters:**

_Thomas Howard, Earl of Surrey - 2nd January 1473 (46)_

_Lady Elizabeth Howard nee Stafford, Countess of Surrey - 5th September 1486 (32)_

_Elizabeth Howard 'Beth' - 5th November 1502 (16)_

_Henry Howard - 11th December 1504 (14)_

_Mary Howard - 3rd October 1505 (13)_

_Thomas Howard - 3rd October 1505 (13)_

_Katherine Howard - 22nd April 1509 (9)_

_Anne Howard - 19th May 1513 (5)_

_King Henry VII of England - 28th June 1493 (24, 25 at the end)  
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_Queen Katherine of England - 16th December 1485 (33)  
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_Princess Mary - 18th February 1516 (3)_

_King Francis of France - 12th September 1494 (26)_

_Queen Claude of France - 13th October 1499 (20)_

_Henry, Dauphin of France - 28th February 1516 (3)  
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_Thomas Boleyn - 15th June 1477 (43)  
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_Anne Boleyn - 5th January 1499 (20)  
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_Mary Boleyn - 26th March 1501 (18)  
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_George Boleyn -__ 13th February 1503 (16)_

_Lady Margaret, Countess Salisbury - 14th August 1473  
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><p>January 1519<p>

Elizabeth Howard, or as her father called her Beth, had just turned sixteen few months ago. Her step-mother was teaching her sewing along with her half sisters. Being the oldest girl in the family, Beth had lived in France for a while and was far more educated than the others. Even her half-brother, Hal was jealous of her education. Her father, Lord Surrey was never open about his feelings and hated showing his affection in public. But Beth was always an exception so her younger sisters, Mary and Kathy didn't involve her in their plays. Beth hadn't the care in the world for their silly plays but she was hated by her siblings and that made her cold and calculating, ever since she was a child.

Her only sibling that didn't dislike her for the attention she got from their father was Tom, who was three years younger than her. They would often write letters to each other while Beth was in France. She was scolding Tom for pushing Mary when her father stepped into the garden. "Beth, come." he ordered his daughter before leaving for his study. Tom playfully poked his tongue out at his older sister before running off to where Mary was.

When Beth got to her father's study, she was unsure as to why Uncle Boleyn was there with her father along with Anne, her cousin, who had accompanied her to England from France. The girls exchanged a secretive smile. They were each other's confidant during their time in the french court. While Mary, Anne's younger sister had fallen in love with the French King and half a dozen french nobles, Anne and Beth had been studying philosophy and humanism with Marguerite of Navarre, another close friend of Beth. They had read of Machievelli, Sir Thomas More, Plato and many other philosophers. Beth was quite passionate of them. Anne had knowledge of other religious philosophy that bent to reformation but Beth, although she saw the corruption of the Church and the reasons for why a reformation was in need, frowned on her studies.

She looked from her father to her uncle and knew that the two men were plotting together again. "Hello uncle. Cousin." she nodded to both in acknowledgement and glanced back at her father who had an amused smirk on his pale face. "Father, you called." she asked.

"Yes, we were just waiting for Goerge to arrive." Thomas Howard informed his daughter before looking at his brother-in-law sharply. Years had passed since his first wife's death and Thomas was not the same man he had once been. But everytime he saw his daughter he was reminded of what had been. Anne may not have been a beautiful woman like his current wife, Elizabeth Stafford was but she was reasonable and far more intelligent. The same qualities he could see in his eldest daughter along with exceptional beauty inherited from her grandmother. Pride and joy filled his eyes as he thought of the lists of noblemen and princes looking for her hand in marriage. She was no princess but she would have made a great one if she had been born as one, Thomas thought as they waited for Goerge Boleyn to grace his study.

They didn't have to wait long, the aforementioned boy stepped in the room quietly and the meeting began. "In a few months the King is meeting with the French king in a summit to sign a treaty of universal and perpetual peace between England and France. That is our oppurtunity to present the King with Mary, as she'll be in the meeting too as a part of Queen Claude's retinue. We need to get her in the King's bed before a nobody like that Bessie Blount does. If she'll be able to keep him more than a month, we might be the powerful families in England again." Thomas Boleyn explained to his kins as they listened to him closely.

It was Beth's father who spoke first, "And if he gets a child on her and let's say the child's a boy, we'll be high in his favour." his voice sent a chill down Beth's spine. She had tried her best to keep out of her family's politics so far but she had a feeling she would be forced to get involved in this one. Beth met Anne's eyes, they were afraid of their fathers.

"But surely my cousin favours us." Beth reasoned. "We're the oldest ducal family there is and we have been faithful to him so far. Father, you cannot let Mary shame herself more further. She is not a cattle to be sold in the market, that we could use her to further our ambitions." her voice got louder and louder in disbelief as each words came out of her mouth. She couldn't believe her senses, her father and her uncle, her own family were speaking of using the king's lust as a ladder to climb the top as England's most influential families.

"So far, my dear daughter, is a very important thing you need to keep in mind." Thomas reminded his daughter, "Don't forget that plantegenet blood runs through your veins. The minute he gets a slighest whiff that you were even thinking of treason, he'll lock you up in the Tower or worst behead you like his father did my mine, your grandfather."

Beth listened to her father but her heart was still not so cold that she'd agree to such folly. "You may do what you want, father. I will say nothing but I will not willingly participate in this plan of yours." she spat fiercely glaring at her uncle who was giving her a look of disapproval.

"I will not force you Beth. But you have to come to France with us." her father matched her tone when he told her. "It's the King's personal request that you come."

Beth's heart skipped a beat when she heard her father's words. He wanted her to come. Beth hadn't seen her cousin for three years exactly and the last time she saw him, he was the most handsome prince in all of Europe. She was aware of her feelings for the King and she vowed to herself to keep it as it was. A secret.

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><p>June 1519<p>

The time had come for the Howards to set their plans in place. Beth and Anne were assigned as as ladies-in-waiting to Queen Katharine by the King's orders and they were both getting on well with the Queen. The women who'd only known each other for less than a month, talked of literature and religion. Anne was always ready to speak good of the 'hypothetical' reformation and the Queen was never short to defend Catholicism. At last, Beth had to conclude that they were both right in their own place. Beth had yet to see her cousin, the King and she was still trying to hide the feelings she harbored for her cousin. She feared that she'd be sent away if the Queen were to find out about the dreams she had of her lawful husband. So, she prayed everyday to God to forgive her sins that her flesh demanded.

She was ordered by Lady Salisbury to get the Princess Mary ready for the meeting that would took place today. They had reached Calais on the fifth day of June and it had been two days since their arrival. The French King had wasted no effort to show the riches of France. Francis, as Beth knew was a charmer, he had always knew the right honey-filled words to charm any woman and he used it well. He had slept with half his wife's ladies and the female courtiers and he still wasn't satisfied. But he suprisingly had respect for women, or at least he was respectful and kind enough to Beth. The same couldn't be said for Mary Boleyn, she had her heart broken by him and then tossed away to some other noblemen to play with. She was forever tainted with her reputation as the french king's 'English Mare' because she gave her heart too easily. Beth learned from her example that men were not to be trusted with the matters of heart.

Even Henry was known for his insatiable lust. The stories of the English king's conquests had reached as far as the french court. The english beauty Bessie Blount to the exotic bastard half-sister of the Portuguese king. Beth wouldn't trust him with her heart either, she promised but her treacherous heart only paced faster at his name. It would be a difficulty to hide my secret, Beth decided when she got to the Princesses' tent. Like the others, it was made of expensive fabric woven with silk and gold. From her position she could see the famed 'Palace of Illusions'. It was truly magnificent.

When she entered the tent, she bowed curtly to the three-year-old princess who looked so similar to her mother, the Queen, with her dark brown hair and pale features. "Your highness." Beth spoke with warmness she didn't know she had for her cousin's daughter. "Her Majesty the Queen has sent me to get you ready, Princess." She smiled politely at the young princess to which Mary smiled back. The Princess had seen the lady with her mama and she knew her mama would want her to be polite with her.

"Lady Howard, Je suis enchantée de faire votre connaissance!" Princess Mary beamed at her cousin. Beth smiled softly at the princesses' somewhat hesistant fluency in the french language._ - "Lady Howard, I am delighted to meet you!"_

"Je suis flatté par vos paroles, votre altesse." Beth replied in perfect french to the young Mary before helping her nurses change her into the new dress her father, the king had commisioned for the princess. It was very princely, was all Beth could think to describe it. The gown was in gold with pearls encrusted, the kirtle was embroided with gold and her hair was held back by a golden coronet with rubies. When they were done, Beth smiled to herself in accomplishing the result. "Your highness, you look beautiful." she commented in glee, her maternal instincts she had for her youngest sister, Anne, spread through her._ - "I am flattered by your words, your highness."_

"I thank you, Lady Howard." Mary chimed in her sweet voice making Beth smile even wider. Her nurse, Lady Grey, was instructing on her behaviour towards her parents in public when Queen Katharine entered the tent, her train of ladies in tudor green gowns following shortly behind her. Among the ladies was Anne, who had a sour look when Beth laid her eyes on her.

"Mama!" the princess exclaimed when she saw her mother and rushed to her. Her nurses were apalled by the scene but Beth couldn't help but smile at the little girl. She remembered wishing she could cry in her mother's lap or hug her when she was a child. Her step-mother loved her as her own but she couldn't fill the hole Beth's mother had left in her heart. Nonetheless, she found joy in the affection Queen Katherine showered on her daughter.

"Maria, my heart." the wise queen said as she parted with her daughter from the embrace. "Come, your father wishes to see you." her majesty stood and grasped the princesses' little hand on her own.

Before they could leave for the King's pavilion, Beth excused herself to change into a more suitable gown fit for the King's kinswoman. Katherine good-heartedly let her go and Anne volunteered to help her cousin. When they were out of sight of the Queen and her ladies, Anne started, "Cousin, I am rather bored serving the queen. Do you reckon father would allow me to stay with Mary after this meeting?" she asked in all seriousness.

"Anne, you know how Uncle Boleyn is. He would never let his jewel stay back in France when he could put you in the king's bed, if the king shall tire of your sister." Beth said to her cousin in a furious tone. She still didn't agree on what her father and uncle were planning on. "And all that for some petty land in the countryside. See Anne, you really are your father's jewel." she laughed bitterly.

Anne had gone from sour to furious by the time Beth had finished her ranting. Anne was never the one to envy, being the favourite of her father. She was always the more spoilt one, the one who was listened to by her parents when there would be a squabble amongst her siblings and her. But outside her family she was aware of her inferiorty amongst the noble families of England. She'd spent her childhood and much of her womanhood in foreign courts to know how much she was really valued amongst the nobility. So her jealousy sprouted the day she met her cousin Beth in France. A maid-of-honour to Queen Claude, she was the first to everything. First to be praised, first to be friends with the King's sister, first to get the Queens's favour. She was the most beautiful maiden in the french court, they said, coming only second to Anne's own sister Mary. Beth's royal blood gave her superiorty over Anne but Beth never saw that. She befriended Anne and they were close confidants, almost like sisters. Almost, Anne reprimanded.

"Help me." Beth requested removing the jewels she had on. She walked to the chest she had brought with her from England, most of its content belonging to her mother. Anne looked inside in curiosity to what she had brought. There were dozens of gowns, some new, some quite old but the one that stood out was in darkest green. It was made of expensive silk embellished with gold. She took out a golden kirtle from the chest and Anne started dressing her in silence. When they were done, Anne had to bite her tongue. Beth looked pretty in the dress, she thought. Her neck was adorned with thin golden chain and another gold rosary encrusted with emeralds. With the pearl encrusted hood that Princess Anne had left for her daughter pinned in place, Beth smiled to Anne. Satisfied with the outcome, Beth and Anne left the tent they shared for Francis' 'Palace of Illusion' where the two kings were to assemble.

They didn't speak until they reached Lord Surrey, wrapped in his dark burgundy coat, who was waiting for them outside the tent. "Daughter, Anne." he addressed them before leading the way. Beth's dark evergreen gown was the oddity among the ladies in the Queen's train when they entered along their monarchs. Beth still hadn't met her cousin yet but the thought of it made her cheeks colour.

Beth recognized her cousin Mary Boleyn, the important chesspiece in her father's plan for temporal power over the king. Mary's beauty had only enhanced in the last few months Beth had been in England. Her dark honey curls cascaded over the outlines of her breasts, which were even more visible than usual with her gown so lowly cut. Beth would never have the courage to be so bold. Of course, in the men's eyes she was still a child and not a woman and Beth preferred it that way. Even if it meant she'd be virtually invisible to the King, Beth swallowed.

* * *

><p>A day later, Beth's father informs her of Mary's success in making herself noticeable to the King. Anne and Mary were preparing in haste for Mary's night with the King when Beth walked into their tent. She smiles sadly to her cousin but Mary is as happy as she could be in the knowledge that she'll be sharing the bed with King Henry. The fool doesn't see that he's using her, it's a common knowledge that Anne and Beth silently agree on while helping Mary to be presentable enough for his majesty's taste.<p>

With a heavy heart they wait for the right time to send her cousin to the King's pavilion. Anne noticing her grim mood, speaks, "What is it, cousin?"

"Sometimes I wish that father would find me a suitable husband so I could start a family of my own and live a quite life in the country." Beth told the sisters, her dark eyes watering a little. "And sometimes..." Beth looked Anne straight in the eyes. Dark brown met icy blue, "Anne, what say you of love? Is it truly as blissful as they say to love someone more than your life like Guinevere and Lancelot?" Beth doesn't know why she's so morbid but she waits for the boleyn girl to answer.

"Beth, Guinevere was Arthur's queen, she was never free to love anyone else, let alone his own knight. She loved Lancelot but she also betrayed her king while doing so. It's a sad story but it's just that. A story written to satisfy the weak hearts of women." Anne reminded Beth. Beth nodded sadly and they left it to that. A moment later, Mary left and the cousins went to bed without a word to each other.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it. Never did, never will.

I hope you like it guys ;). And please if you think i just killed the language in this chapter, PMS me (that sounds so wrong but you know what i mean) and i'd be happy that you'd help me... I don't know who's older Mary or Anne so sorry if it's the wrong way round. Oh and the Charles Brandon and Thomas Howard was from Season 1 Ep 2 from the tudors if you remember... Buckingham's death will be explored in detail later in the future but not in the next chapter. I'm sorry.

**Characters:**

_Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk - 2nd January 1473  
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_Lady Elizabeth Howard nee Stafford, Duchess of Norfolk - 5th September 1486  
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_Elizabeth Howard 'Beth' - 5th November 1502  
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_Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey - 11th December 1504  
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_Mary Howard - 3rd October 1505  
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_Thomas Howard 'Tom' - 3rd October 1505  
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_Katherine Howard 'Kathy' - 22nd April 1509  
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_King Henry VII of England - 28th June 1493  
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_Queen Katherine of England - 16th December 1485  
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_Princess Mary - 18th February 1516  
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_Edward Stafford, Duke of Buckingham - 3rd February 1478 _

_Sir Charles Brandon - 7th May 1491  
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_Thomas Boleyn - 15th June 1477  
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_Anne Boleyn - 5th January 1499  
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_Mary Boleyn - 26th March 1501  
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_George Boleyn -__ 13th February 1503 _

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><p>January 1520<p>

Months had passed since the 'Treaty of Universal and Perpetual Peace' was signed in Val D'or. As expected the treaty had already been broken by King Henry VIII in favour of an Imperial Alliance with the Queen's nephew, Charles, the Holy Roman Emperor. Beth's father was invested as the Duke of Norfolk a few days ago. In return he helped bring down his brother-in-law and Beth's second cousin, the Duke of Buckingham.

Beth had spent those months in the confinement of Framlingham Castle, her birthplace, with her step-mother and half sisters. Anne, her youngest half sister, whom Beth had nursed since she had been a newborn and therefore close to had died of fever, a week after her fifth birthday. Her father had been absent during that time, which had greatly disappointed Beth. Her father was negotiating a marriage settlement between Beth and Henry Percy, heir to the earldom of Northumberland, despite her protests. She knew very well that her cousin, Anne Boleyn, was in love with the man and Percy returned her affections. Beth did not want to be Anne's enemy, she knew her cousin well enough to not want to be on her bad side.

She was reading her gift sent by Marguerite of Navarre, Plato's Republic in Greek, when her father saw fit to barge into the study. She acknowledged his presence with a glance and then went back to reading the text that she was enjoying until the moment. "Beth." her father's stern voice attracted her attention. She'd never heard her father use that tone. "Your betrothal to Henry Percy has been drawn and concluded. You will marry him within the year." he gave her a sharp look before shouting, "You are my daughter. You will obey me!"

Beth was scared of her father's temperament. She'd heard him be stern with Hal and Mary and she knew he would hit them sometimes. Beth was just praying he won't do the same to her. Mustering all the courage in her, she managed not to shake in fear. "Fine." she sighed, defeated. Thomas Howard smiled triumphantly, his eyes fell onto the book that his daughter was reading.

"Start reading the bible, or at least something to keep your head out of men's world." He snarled before abruptly leaving the study. Remembering something, he turned at his heels when he reached the doors. "You are to come with me to court next week with your brother. The King is kindly giving back your position as a lady-in-waiting for the Queen." and he left swiftly.

Not some few months ago, her heart would beat violently in her chest at his name. But Beth had grown up after her trip to France. She was still mourning her Anne's death and she had no place in her heart to think of her cousin at the moment.

* * *

><p>Beth Howard was getting impatient while waiting in her chambers for her father's man to call her for an audience with the King. Her chambers were big enough for her needs. As the daughter of a duke, she was given larger apartments than her cousin Mary Boleyn, who was at court as Henry's unofficial mistress. Beth was dressed in her best, golden damask with pearls encrusted trimmed with gold. For her head she wore her mother's pearl coronet that was left for Beth. It let her gold-auburn curls fall down to her waist. Beth had grown taller and wider, 'almost a woman' her step-mother would say, and a desirable bride for any man. A silver rosary with pearls hung down her neck declaring her devotion to the Catholic faith and similar pearls adorned her ears and pale fingers. A knock on the door made her snap out of her thoughts. Dorothy, who was in her father's employment, opened the door for her. When the man was gone, she informed Beth that her father was waiting for her outside.<p>

When Beth stepped out of her apartment, she could make out her father's figure standing in the hallway with her elder half-brother Hal beside him. It was comical how her brother tried to imitate everything her father did and his pride in being the heir shone thoroughly in his face. Walking towards the men, Beth smiled half-heartedly at them both. Hal's face split widely in a grin, he knew of the argument his sister and father were having and he intended to shove it in Beth's face every single moment of it. "You look beautiful, sister." he said kissing her hand like a perfect gentlemen. But his eyes were telling otherwise.

"The same cannot be said for you, brother" she retorted. Hal's smile faltered but only grew when their father glared at Beth. In Beth's eyes, Hal would always be that small boy who cried when her step-mother was more attentive to his siblings. Not a grown man, he was failing to become.

Thomas led their way to the King's chambers. He reminded them of how they should behave in front of the King. How deep they should bow, how humble they must appear and more importantly how silent they must be when the adults were speaking. "Remember, the King is your godfather. When you meet him..." Beth's father was lecturing Hal on his inability to behave properly when Charles Brandon, Beth remembered the man as one of the king's favoured friend, stopped the conversation with his mere presence.

Her father halted their procession and waited for an explanation from the man. Brandon bowed slightly, "Your Grace." he greeted her father. And noticing Beth's presence added " My lady." with a hint of a smile. He missed the glare the duke shot at him while he was at it.

"What do you want?" her father asked looking around to see if anyone was witnessing their shameful exchange, Beth guessed. She could see a wooden box Brandon had in his hands.

"I'm here to pass his Majesty's love. He appreciated the role you played in my lord Buckingham's trial and all the care you have for the majesty's well being." he paused to see her father's reaction. He just nodded and then kept looking sideways to perhaps indicate to Brandon that he had an appointment. "He also sent you this." Brandon added, bringing forth the wooden box he had been playing with. Her father took it cautiously. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Hal eye the box suspiciously too.

When Thomas Howard did open it he fingered the object inside before saying, "This is my father's ring" to Hal and Beth. She saw the ring, it was quite old, something that belonged to her grandfather who was executed by the King's father, Thomas had mentioned to her. She wondered why her father was being presented with her grandfather's belongings. Beth didn't understand. "He was executed by his majesty's father, did you know that?" he asked Brandon. Ah, so that's what the King's trying to do, Beth finally saw the pieces fall into place. She waited for a confirmation on her theory.

Brandon gave a curt nod, before saying, "His Majesty said he would like you to wear it." Beth knew then, why Brandon had presented her father with the ring. He was warning him. Thomas put the ring back in its place and closed the box. "Is this your son?" Brandon asked, suddenly interested in Hal.

"Yes he is. He's going to be received by his godfather." Beth heard her father pause, "The King." Her father started walking away but Brandon was not yet finished.

"And this beautiful lady must be your daughter then. Lady Elizabeth, isn't it?" he smiled roguishly at Beth. She heard her father sigh behind her.

"Yes, my lord. But I think we are getting awfully late for our appointment with the King, my cousin." she answered. Putting as much emphasis as she could on her last two words. It did not have the desired effect as Brandon's smile only grew wider.

"Come, Beth." her father's commanding voice told her. She complied without hesitation but was stopped by Brandon again.

This time Brandon was facing the Duke. "Your grace should have a care for your son's inheritance." he said, all the humour deprived in his face. "It would be terrible, for example, an action of yours were to deprive him of his father or that ring of yours, your grace." he bowed before leaving Beth and her father staring at his back. A part of her, couldn't understand how he would threaten her father, a duke, like that and get away without any reprecussions. The other part, found his bravery very inticing.

"Come, children. We are getting late." was all her father said.

The walk to the King's chambers was silent. Beth was still trying to get everything in her head. Her father helped the King to bring Lord Buckingham to trial but now he threatens him, for what? She felt something was missing from her knowledge on the Duke of Buckingham's trial. But what was it? Were they trying to charge the Lord Buckingham guilty of treason? But her heart said they couldn't do that, Edward Stafford was like a second father to her and a brother to her father. Surely, the lords of England wouldn't let him walk the scaffold for a small error of judgement. But even her grandfather had been executed not too long ago. He himself was a Duke. She remembered her father tell her of her grandfather, Edward VI. He had his own brother, the Duke of Clarence charged guilty for treason and executed. Her thoughts were halted when they reached the King's outer chambers. A guard announced their arrival and Beth followed her father to meet her cousin, the King.

"Your Grace." she heard a voice as they entered the room. Then she saw the owner. King Henry had changed since the last time she had seen him. She had been twelve and he twenty. She noticed that his soft boyish voice had matured into a man's. His height had grown and his hair was darker. Looking at the man in front of her, Beth no longer saw Harry, her cousin that she teased incessantly. She saw the making of a king.

"Your majesty." she saw her father kneel to kiss the King's ring, only rising when Henry helped him. Thomas brought his son forward, "Your majesty, may I present to you my eldest son and your godson Henry, Earl of Surrey." Hal bowed deep to the King. "And my eldest daughter from my first wife, Anne of York, your majesty's aunt, Elizabeth." Beth knew it was her turn to curtesy so she did.

"Rise." Henry ordered them both, his eyes hovering over Beth. "Cousin Elizabeth, you have grown since I last saw you. I believe you won't run around calling me names anymore." he spoke. Beth laughed softly remembering those times.

"Not if you object I won't, your Majesty." she answered, barely managing to keep her face straight as she talked to him, face to face. Henry smiled lightly, satisfied with her answer. Beth had remembered Henry was growing a beard when she last saw him in Calais. He had shaved it since then and she was happy to see it thus. He looked better this way and dare she say far more attractive. The whole meeting went on without her participation. She stood silent behind her father noticing the looks Henry gave her when he thought she wasn't looking. It made her cheeks flush and she prayed to God to just end her mortal life then and there for that.

"Yes, you may take your leave, your grace." Henry's words made Beth to come out of her thoughts.

"Your majesty" the three Howards chimed at the same time and withdrew from the King's chambers. Beth could still feel his piercing blue eyes on her back when they left. Finally, when they were far enough from the King's presence, Beth sighed heavily. She hadn't known that his presence had that amount of power over her.

* * *

><p>Later that night, there was a grand feast on the Queen's honour. The physicians had confirmed that she was still able to bare children. There was music and dance, food and wine. In the dais, the King and Queen smiled in joy but Beth noticed they weren't as happy as they should be. Her father and uncle seemed to notice too because they were whispering in their ears while looking at Mary's direction. The King was also attentive to Mary's presence but sometimes Beth'd catch him looking at her. Beth first thought of it as just a passing gaze but soon it was clear that it was more. When the King got up to dance with the Queen, Beth was already planning to retire for the night. But her plans were ruined when the King asked Charles Brandon to pair up with Beth for the dance.<p>

Unable to deny the King, she obeyed him. "My lady, we meet again." Brandon whispered as the music started. Beth put all the effort to not pull out her tongue in an unladylike fashion.

"That we do, my lord." she smiled sweetly before spinning for the change in partner. She found herself dancing with another friend of Brandon but she couldn't remember his name. The man was far more polite than his uncallous friend, "My lord." she said but before he could say anything the partners changed again. "Ah, Sir Brandon again. It's funny how we keep meeting." Beth commented through gritted teeth.

"It is, isn't it?" Brandon agreed while smiling his charming smile. Beth wasn't even interested in what he was going to speak of when their partners changed again.

"My lady." Brandon's friend, who'd been so rudely cut off before, was smiling ruthlessly at Beth. "I'm Sir William Compton, a friend of your other partner." he managed to finish before Brandon's turn came again. It was like that all night until Beth was finally bored of hearing the two friends squabble about who's had more women. Although surprisingly, Beth had enjoyed their company, she concluded that it had more to do with the wine than either Brandon's or Compton's personal qualities. As she left the merry hall of Whitehall Palace, she could still feel a pair of blue eyes follow her.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Showtime owns The Tudors not me. I'm just a seventeen year old girl who's obssessed with History.

I would love to have some reviews guys. Fifty six reads and only two reviews. That sucks. I welcome anonymous reviews by the way so don't hesitate to press that magic button. It takes you to a magical land of words, flattery and sometimes criticisms but it's heaven. You can bet ur ass on it.

**Characters:**

_Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk - 2nd January 1473  
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_Lady Elizabeth Howard nee Stafford, Duchess of Norfolk - 5th September 1486  
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_Elizabeth Howard 'Beth' - 5th November 1502  
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_Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey - 11th December 1504  
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_Mary Howard - 3rd October 1505  
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_Thomas Howard 'Tom' - 3rd October 1505  
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_Katherine Howard 'Kathy' - 22nd April 1509  
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_King Henry VII of England - 28th June 1493  
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_Queen Katherine of England - 16th December 1485  
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_Princess Mary - 18th February 1516  
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_Edward Stafford, Duke of Buckingham - 3rd February 1478 _

_Sir Charles Brandon - 7th May 1491  
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_Thomas Boleyn - 15th June 1477  
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_Anne Boleyn - 5th January 1499  
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_Mary Boleyn - 26th March 1501  
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_George Boleyn -__ 13th February 1503 _

1521

It was one of the most ideal day in Whitehall Palace since the day Beth had arrived as a lady in the Queen's service. Her betrothal to Henry Percy had been broken off, much to Beth's pleasure. Beth's presence at court hadn't been as peaceful as she had hoped for it to be. With Anne in Hever and Mary away in the country with her hunsband, William Carey, Beth was the source of entertainment in the court. She danced, sang and even composed a little when she felt like it. Her father had warned her about the reputation she was building and to avoid participation in court for it was not fitting for a lady such as her.

Staunchly defying her father, Beth indulged in every masque, every play and feast in the palace. Her mistress, the Queen called her 'chuppamirto' for her liveliness and free spirit. But today, she had stayed behind to accompany the Queen while everyone else left for the hunting trip. "Lady Howard, you seem to be distracted today. Tell me, what is it that troubles you?" Katherine asked formally while she sew intensely with her close circle of ladies, including Lady Salisbury and Lady Seymour.

"Tis nothing, your majesty. I merely remembered it was my brother Tom's anniversary." Beth said but in reality she was thinking of her father's and Uncle's new scheme to place Anne in the king's bed to sire a bastard son and gain favor. Howard women were nothing much different than cattles, Beth thought pitying her own fate.

"Tell me, cousin. Has your father found a suitable husband for you?" the Queen would not leave Beth alone.

"None yet, your majesty." Beth replied pleasantly finishing her embroidery and handing it to Lady Salibury for inspection. When she found no flaw in it, she handed another piece of cloth for Beth to sew. She was getting bored of this routine.

"What about Henry Percy? His majesty tells me you were to be married to him by the end of the year?" Katharine asked innocently. Perhaps the Queen really hadn't heard of Beth and Percy's agreement to not marry against their respective fathers' wishes or perhaps she was humiliating Beth in purpose for her affiliations with the Boleyns. Beth didn't really know. What she did know was that she would have to be explaining what exactly had transpired between her and her formerly betrothed.

"My lord had been previously contracted with Mary Talbot, the Earl of Shrewbury's daughter, your Majesty. Lord Henry saw fit to marry Lord Talbot's daughter setting me aside." she explained to her mistress. Queen Katharine was silent for a while showing that she truly hadn't really known what had occured between the Howards and the Percies. They continued sewing in silence for the rest and the better half of that day.

* * *

><p>In Summer, the King's court moved from Whitehall to Hampton Court. Wolsey's position as the most favoured was slipping from his clutches and Lord Norfolk intended to be Wolsey's successor. It would be a lie to say that the Cardinal was no longer Henry's confidant. He was still the chancellor of his majesty's office and no man in his right mind, lord or not, would defy the man. And so, Beth waited in the garden for the man of robes. Faint tapping of feet could be heard behind Beth, so she turned around, expecting Wolsey's white-red self. Only the one who approached her was a man far more important.<p>

"Lady Elizabeth, I see you have come out here to enjoy the fine weather." Henry smiled, sarcasm coated in his words. As if to satisfy his retort, a gush of harsh wind blew the lady's hair which had been held back by her head-dress.

Beth curtsied softly. "Your majesty, I find the cold air fascinating and weird to the warmth we have in France during summer." her brown eyes sparkled with raw contentment.

Lady Elizabeth's gold hair flowed in harmony to the breeze, smell of fresh rose and honey filled his nostrils. Henry had been avoiding any sort of encounter with his cousin for obvious reasons. Her beauty was something to behold of, he thought silently and imagined caressing her fair cheeks in the night. Her lowcut gown showed her feminine swell, not too low cut like Lady Boleyn's but it was enjoyable indeed. Henry chastised himself in his mind for thinking in such way about his first cousin, they were akin to a brother and sister. Her soft pink lips were plump and inviting so his eyes stayed fixed on it's movement. Better that than her bosoms, he thought. It wasn't though. "Good day, cousin. " the King said in a cold manner. He wanted to crush his own wet lips on hers, invade her sweet and chaste mouth with his tongue but he knew it was wrong so he did the only thing he could. He left, fleed before he couldn't restrain his desire anymore.

Beth was surprised at his abrupt leave and the cold tone he spoke in. Never in the time she had known him had Henry talked to her in that way. Anger and fear filled her when she thought of what she could have done wrong but not for long. Wolsey was standing before her with an amused grin in his cold face.

"Your Grace had asked for my presence." Beth stated in a formal tone. She didn't hate the man. She didn't particularly like him but in the name of her family's well being she managed not to snarl.

The Cardinal eyed her head to toe before nodding. "It's nice to finally meet you in person, Lady Howard." he smiled tightly before signaling Beth to follow him. Suspicion flashed in her dark eyes before Beth followed Wolsey's red train. "I have heard great things about you from his majesty." Although Thomas would not describe Henry's lustful confessions as great things to say about a lady such as her, he mentally snickered. Beth's heart sped a little. She was sure it had stopped doing that after hearing the Queen, her mistress, talking of how much she loved her husband numerous times. But she had been wrong.

Her dreams about Henry had stopped after her first year in court. His affairs with the ladies and the birth of Henry Fitzroy had shown her how true she had been to assume he was a man driven by passion rather than mind. Seeing Queen Katharine hurt so greatly, Beth was glad she wasn't in her place. Growing up in Suffolk, Beth had heard of Henry's great love for their Queen and even saw the exchange of affections first hand during the yearly Christmas feasts. As a child she had admired their love, when she grew up she wanted the love her cousin and his wife shared. But now she could see the love was one-sided as Henry forsakes Katharine for others. All because she will not give him a son. Beth wasn't naive, she was aware that a son was more desired than a daughter by men and even women, albeit it might be so to avoid the scorn from their husbands. She knew this because her father often reminded her of her dead brothers who would've been worth far more than her, had they lived. As grandsons of a King, they would've been a strong claimant for her father to use to get some power over the crown, she thought bitterly.

"As have I, your eminence." Beth reciprocated streaming out of her thoughts. "Why have you called me?" she asked harshly, getting impatient by the Cardinal's slow progress.

"The King has found sudden interest in your Boleyn cousin." he whispered softly, he too getting impatient but for some other reason than Beth's. He had an appointment with his son's tutor and he didn't like being late for his meeting with Thomas Lupet. "He wishes to make her maitresse-en-titre. Your cousin, however, refuses to do so, swearing that she will only give her maidenhood to her husband." The Cardinal finished with a frustrated sigh. He knew very well that Henry was doing this to distract himself from the growing attraction with his cousin, the woman he's talking to right now. But the King will have what he wants.

Beth was shocked and some what amused by the end of Wolsey's irritated rant. "And by my cousin, you mean Anne, my lord?" she inquired incredously. Wolsey nodded gravely. She never thought of all the people, Anne Boleyn would ever fall for Henry's charades. Let alone think that Anne would try to lure him in like that. They both knew how men like Henry and Francis were, they could never be honest to just one woman. So, why would she encourage Henry's affections?

Despite the nudging feeling that this was something to do with her father and uncle, she decided it was time she met Anne. They hadn't talked since their return from France. Mainly because of Henry Percy but Beth knew her uncle was conspiring in the secure walls of Hever. "May I ask when did his majesty meet her? She's been in Hever ever since her arrival from France." she was puzzled how they had even met.

"Your cousin is in court, my lady. She hath performed in the masque yesterday and the king noticed her." Wolsey explained in an impatient huff. Beth was not happy to hear that. Now her suspicion was confirmed. She understood why her father had ordered her to stay with the Princess Mary. It was for their plan to work. With Mary with child, she swears it's the king's, Anne was their next option to be the powerful ones again.

"I'll do what I can to make Anne understand the depth of the situation, your eminence. I must say my farewell. My mistress sent me for a quick errand and I ought to be back with her." Beth bowed slightly before leaving to find her family. Anyone. Even the whining Mary to know what was going on.

Behind her, Wolsey smiled wickedly.

* * *

><p>After hours of search, Beth couldn't find any of her family members. So, she decided to attend to the Princess Mary instead. In the following days of the conversation she had with the Queen, Beth was assigned to attend to the Princess of Wales as she was here visiting her mother from Ludlow. Beth's face immediately brightened when she heard the Princesses' giggles from the palace gardens. Mary and Beth had become quite close in the short time along with Jane Seymour. Although Lady Seymour participated as less as she could in the silly girly plays that Mary insisted on playing. To some extent, Beth was reminded of her sister Anne. Mary looked like her with the similar dark hair and deep blue eyes. When Anne had died, Beth had not only lost a sister but a daughter too. She may have been twelve when Anne was born and been away for four years of her sister's life but she had known her shy girl in the time she spent in Franligham. She felt water stain her cheeks but wiped it before she saw Mary run towards her.<p>

Henry was chasing his daughter when a figure came in the outer circles of his vision. Mary, upon seeing who the figure was, ran to it while giggling happily. Henry managed to see Katherine smile then frown slightly before his eyes saw the newcomer.

"Beth!" the shreiking six-year-old rushed to Beth, hiding behind her when she reached her. Beth laughed at Mary's antiques and pretended that the princess wasn't hiding behind her gown when the king approached. "Hide me, Beth." Mary pleaded as she clutched her skirt even more tighter in her tiny fists.

"Your Majesty." Beth quickly managed to bow to the king with some difficulty. Henry's mood was not light anymore, his body had tensed up at Beth's entrance and he had taken a few steps back to stand beside his wife Katherine. The Queen upon noticing the change, rose her eyebrows.

"Lady Howard, step aside from the Princess." Henry coldly barked at her. He was angry that even when he was with daughter, Beth wouldn't leave him alone. It was hard enough not thinking of her in his mind while playing with Mary. Now she had to be there and watch him. If things were different and she were not his cousin, he would've charmed her, presented her with precious jewels, like he did to Mistress Anne. But he couldn't have her.

"Majesty." she whispered blushing furiously but confused at what she could possibly have done to offend the King. Princess Mary giggled as Beth stepped aside to reveal Mary's small frame, who immediately ran to her father's open arms. Spinning her about like he had done before, Henry kissed his pearl's cheeks before letting her run off to her mother.

Beth smiled fondly as she watched on. The King and Mary reminded her of her childhood, when her father would do the same with her. He was her protector, the only person she trusted with her heart. Surely, a father could never break their child's heart, she mused. Beth knew her father was cold and distant nowadays, she didn't know why. Had she done something to gain his wrath? Well, leaving the time she refused to marry the man of his choice. She didn't understand why so suddenly every man who had importance in her heart was turning their back on her.

"Leave us." Katherine's voice boomed through the garden. Beth hurriedly left, Lady Seymour following her train. When they both were alone and away from the other ladies, Beth stopped Jane and pulled her to the shadows.

"Tell me, Jane. How's my cousin?" Beth giggled like a little girl. Jane, on the other hand, had turned red with embarassment. Beth was aware that the young girl, who was the same age as her, had never enjoyed a man's attention before. Both were young and innocent but Beth knew Edmund Gorges was not.

"I do not know what you speak of, Beth." she squealed, her mouth twitching at the corners. Beth knew she was hiding something and she intended to find what.

"Janey, I know you are hiding something." Beth warned her playfully. Jane walked away from her, with a big smug smile plastered in her face.

"Edmund wishes to marry me." Jane's sweet and kind voice whispered. Her secret shocked Beth. She knew her cousin was already promised to another cousin of her, Mary Tilney. Although, at first Beth was wary of Edmund's affections to the sweet natured Jane, she had warmed to the idea. Edmund needed a good woman in his life, somone who'd love him and give him a family. A family that he constantly craved. He may have been a womanizer but it had been nearly a year since he'd pursued Jane. Beth knew his intentions with her friend was noble.

Beth's teasing smirk changed to an estatic one. "Janey, you'll be family." she hugged Jane in excitement. Halting her thoughts, Beth assessed Jane with a stern look. "Do you love him?" was the most important question of all, Beth thought.

Jane flustered even deeper and looked on the floor with a sad smile. "I love Edmund with all my heart but I cannot marry him." her expression grew darker and darker with each word she said. "My father will not accept our marriage."

On the other side, Beth was cursing silently. Seymours and Howards were sworn enemies. Dramatic as it may sound, the animosity was real. Her father never left a chance to insult them or downgrade them and Jane's brother never failed to insult and spread false and inaccurate rumors of her family. There was no hope. If it weren't for Edmund's unfortunate parentage, he would get the love he deserved and Jane would love him back. But men were stubborn and even Edmund would refuse to marry Jane if Beth's father ordered so. Even Jane wasn't as naive, she'd already accepted he'd leave her if the duke would ask it. Perhaps it was best for Jane that she didn't marry him.

"I'm so sorry, Janey." Beth hugged her even tighter than before. Jane's heartbreak was so visible, Beth wondered how she'd missed it. She was more withdrawn from the court, her eyes had dark shadows underneath and she'd not attended dinner with her. Everything fit in place now that Beth knew what was eating her. "You'll find a better man. A man who would not only love you but fight for you and your honour. A Lancelot for my Janey." Beth teased her. It was childish to wish that their life would be a fairytale but Beth hoped. Even when she knew that the world was a harsher place.

"I do not wish for a better man. I wish that my father would see that my true happiness lies with Edmund. That your father would leave us be if we wish to marry." Jane wallowed like a child. Beth was surprised that she didn't stomp her feet and shout at the top of her lungs.

"But neither will do as we wish." Beth said what the two girls knew already. "We are not allowed to think for our own. They are wiser and we should follow what they say." her voice was hurt and choked but Beth managed to say it. She might want to think otherwise but the truth was there. And she hated it. "Well, they can stick their wisdom somewhere very uncomfortable." she turned to Jane with a determined scowl. "Janey, I promise you that when you find a man who has a mind of his own and loves you enough to go against his own master. You shall be his wife, no matter what anyone says or does."

Jane's eyes watered and her heart soared at Beth's words. "Thank you, Betsy. But I assure you that won't be necessary. I have learnt that love is simply not for me." she avoided looking at Beth's disagreeing eyes and started walking to the garden. "I bet we can catch the king and queen. They act as if they were newly-wed couples and not monarchs." she laughed in an amused tone.

Beth shook her head at Jane's weak attempt to distract her. "Yes, we could." she added with a false giggle of her own and followed her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** This is purely fictional and I don't own the original material which is 'The Tudors'.

Thnx 4 the review **mentos93**, I'll post a chapter real soon but I am running out of inspirations (-cough- review). Oh thnx for the stry alerts as well.

**Characters:**

_Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk - 2nd January 1473  
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_Lady Elizabeth Howard nee Stafford, Duchess of Norfolk - 5th September 1486  
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_Elizabeth Howard 'Beth' - 5th November 1502  
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_Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey - 11th December 1504  
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_Mary Howard - 3rd October 1505  
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_Thomas Howard 'Tom' - 3rd October 1505  
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_Katherine Howard 'Kathy' - 22nd April 1509  
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_King Henry VII of England - 28th June 1493  
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_Queen Katherine of England - 16th December 1485  
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_Princess Mary - 18th February 1516  
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_Edward Stafford, Duke of Buckingham - 3rd February 1478 _

_Sir Charles Brandon - 7th May 1491  
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_Thomas Boleyn - 15th June 1477  
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_Anne Boleyn - 5th January 1499  
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_Mary Boleyn - 26th March 1501  
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_George Boleyn -__ 13th February 1503 _

_Jane Seymour - 24th October1502_

_Edward Seymour - 2nd January 1499_

_Thomas Seymour - 12th November 1500_

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><p>Winter 1521<p>

Anne Boleyn was a determined woman. In her early twenties, she was at her primal years of beauty. That was why Henry had wanted her at first. She was dark and brooding but sensual at the same time. Her blue eyes could make you feel things that no other eyes could. **_'Except for Beth's'_** his mind added involuntarily. Henry ignored that notion and kept his eyes fixed at the said brunette's. It was near Christmas and he had decided to held a feast in celebration at the birth of his new son. Although he didn't acknowledge his son as his own to the world, his heart warmed remembering his face. Mary Boleyn had given him a boy a few days ago. He doubted the boy'd parentage at first but seeing his dark hair and eyes, little Richard was his. And there was little Catherine too. Twins, he had twins from his mistress and just one daughter from his Queen.

He couldn't understand why God was punishing him. He was a good king and a loving husband and father. One boy, even one boy could lift his spirits and Katherine's. He wanted to have a Prince Henry not Lord Henry or Lord Richard. It was Mary's decision to name their son Richard and the king couldn't do anything of it. His little Catherine was definitely a Tudor with her golden hair and blue eyes. His children were his jewels on earth.

His thoughts stopped when his eyes met a pair of familiar brown ones. It was as dark as night but beautiful at the same time. '**Beth' **he instantly knew who she was. As if she could feel his eyes, she looked back. Her usual pale face was as red as a beet, the wine was affecting her. She had an arm laced with Jane Seymour, one of Katherine's ladies-in-waiting, and was talking to Compton. Lady Jane was a pretty lady with tall and slender figure. Her hair was of pure white that was always taken back with her hood. Her green eyes were pleasant and her face angelic. She was nice enough for one night but not a Anne Boleyn. **'Or Beth'** his treacherous mind added.

The three blondes were enjoying each other's company, Henry observed from his seat at the dais. He wouldn't really call Beth blonde. Her hair was somewhat similar to his mother's. Dark gold with hint of reds. All the more reason to not think of her as his bed-mate.

He looked around the hall to distract himself from the thoughts that made his body writh with desire. His eyes landed on a brunette. He forgot what her name was. Madge? Kate? Besse? Whoever she was, he was very certain that she would not be as bored as she looked at the end of this night.

* * *

><p>Last night at the banquet, Beth had felt Henry's scrutinizing eyes on her. He still had not stopped doing that since her first day as Queen Katherine's lady. Her sane part was scared that he had found her so frustrating that he had a scowl on his face the entire night after meeting eye to eye with her. The more shameless part was excited and wanted him to keep looking at her, even if it was a hateful gaze.<p>

Beth knew one of the reasons why he had a feast. She was playing with one of them at the moment. Catherine Carey was a very pretty baby with a quite temper that amazed Beth. She wasn't complasive like Beth's siblings had been. In fact, she must be the most peaceful child in England.

Mary Carey watched as her cousin enamored her daughter with maternal love and care that none except maybe Mary herself had shown Cate. Her baby daughter was only a few days old but she was bigger and stronger than her twin. Although little Richard was healthy, he was smaller than his sister. Mary's family though didn't see that, they only saw a boy that would help with their fortune.

"She's so quite and peaceful, isn't she?" Beth praised like a proud mother inspecting her newborn. Mary wasn't worried or jealous of the instant bond that Beth had with Cate. She knew her cousin had the best interest in heart and that she saw Cate as family.

"She's an angel compared to her brother. Richard will not rest without his mother with him. He has everyone wrapped around his tiny fingers. And everyone's indulged in presenting him with gifts and the women that see him shower him with kisses and cooes. Even Anne does so." Mary told her, love vibrating through her being.

"I haven't met the boy but he sounds rather spoilt." her cousin wrinkled her nose as she tickled Cate's feet and made her gurgle happily. Beth sighed in contentment but her face scrunched up in anger immediately. "How could anyone be upset at her birth? Your daughter is truly an angel on earth." she complimented leaving Mary lost for words.

Truthfully, Beth was as surprised as Mary was at her compliment. The two women were never as close as Anne and Beth were. They were rivals in the french court and still were in the English one. Baby Cate changed everything in their relationship. Beth had started to love the girl like her own in the short time she had known her and Mary was glad becuase no one else in her family did that. They were all too happy with Richard's birth and the king's acknowledgement to give Cate anytime.

"Richard has been sent to Richmond Palace. His majesty wants both his sons to grow up together." Mary said with a sad smile and kept looking at the vacant cot for the boy.

"Little Harry is a good boy, Mary. He loves new play mates, I'm sure he'll like Richard too, once he is able enough to play with him." Beth reassured a concerned Mary. She had been worrying about Henry Fitzroy's reaction to a baby brother who would grow up to be his rival. More importantly, Mary's heart was hurting at Richard's abscence, she wanted him with her.

"Maybe he is but Ican't help worrying Beth. I'm his mother. You wouldn't understand." Mary broke into a sob at the end of her sentence. She really did not mean to cry in front of her cousin at such a trivial thing but she couldn't help herself.

"I know." Beth said sadly. Cate reached her hand out to pat Beth's cheeks. The girl was sensitive to people's feelings around her, Beth observed. If she could feel Beth's sadness then she could probably feel that people liked her brother more. 'Maybe that's why she was open with me. Becuase she can feel the same feeling of being ignored inside of me.' Beth wondered as Cate tiny fingers laced aroung her thumb. She was reminded of little Anne and tears trickled down her eyes.

Mary was guilty that she'd made Beth upset but she didn't get to say anymore. Little Cate had taken care of it. The liitle girl only had to smile to lift Beth's grim mood. Mary watched on as her daughter slept contentdly in Beth's arms.

* * *

><p>The twin's christening was a small but happy event. Only the immediate family and friends of the Boleyns were present at the halls of Waltham Abbey. The King was busy with his affairs and was in court much to Mary's grief. Richard was not content at the christening. He cried at the top of his lungs as the priest did the ceremony.<p>

The godparents for Richard were Goerge, Brandon and Anne while Beth and the Queen was Catherine's godmothers. The courtiers were more than shocked when their queen volunteered to stand as godmother for the king's bastard. Katherine had sent a letter to Mary congratulating her and discharging Beth from her services. Beth had to suffer snide comments from Anne during the ceremony about her failure.

They were christened Lord Richard Beaulieu, Marquess of Devon and Lady Catherine Beaulieu for their place of birth. The Duke of Norfolk was present with his children and the Earl of Arundel with his heir. There were other noblemen present but most had a sneer on their faces, Edward Seymour had the most sour look than anyone present.

"Janey!" Beth exclaimed as she saw her behind the man. Jane was beaming at her former companion before her brother shot her a warning look. Nonetheless, Beth didn't hesitate to approach her family's rivals. "I have missed you." she embraced the lean figure she called her friend. Jane patted her friend's back and sighed in relief that her only friend wasn't mad that she had failed to write to her in the few days they'd been apart.

"And so have I." Jane said pulling away gingerly from Beth's lean arms. She was still not accustomed to Beth's was to express her feelings. "You're a godmother!" she stated in disbelief that a girl her age was having the honour.

"Cate is an angel. You should meet her." Beth suggested and waited for Jane's consent.

Her brother intervened before she could speak. "Jane, we must leave. We'll not get to court before nightfall if we stay any longer. We must pay our regards and then leave for London. It's a few hours trip."

Beth saw the older brother of Jane for the first time. He was taller than Jane and towered Beth by more than few inches. His dull grey eyes suited his dark brown curls. The same dark curls graced his face as beard. He couldn't be any different to the tamed and innocent Jane. Thomas, Jane's other brother and a passionate poet of the court, rolled his eyes but restrained from saying something in front of the enemy's daughter. Beth had spoken to Thomas once or twice, he was charming but as conniving and coldhearted as his elder brother. "It's a shame." Beth smiled hopefully at Jane before joining Anne and George, who kept glaring at the Seymours. "Wine, George." she demanded her cousin. Both the Boleyns laughed at her demand but George complied anyway. Gulping down the red liquid, Beth turned her attention to her cousins. "That man has the coldest of eyes." Anne nodded in agreement as did Goerge.

And in that moment the three knew that things would never be the same again. Not with the icy glares they were receiving from almost every man and woman who were not a Boleyn or a Howard.

* * *

><p>"Must you insult me every time we meet?" Beth huffed in exhaustion from the newly appointed Duke of Suffolk's charming words. After her dismissal from the Queen's services, Beth had been given a position in Princess Mary's household in Hatfield. She was happy to let go of the vehement court life that she had tired of. Time with Mary was far much easier and simple than with the Queen.<p>

"That was not my wish, dear Beth." Brandon apologized, his blue eyes full of mischief. "But do tell how have I insulted your kind self."

"Everytime you open your mouth with those sweet honey words is an insult to me, my lord. I thought I had a higher place in your grace's heart than a common courtier." Beth struggled not to burst out laughing at Brandon's struck face. The duke joined in with her snickers as they walked through the garden following the princess.

"Beth, you know you have a very special place in my heart. Not even my mother ever had the privilege." Charles said in mock seriousness. They both had known each other for more than a year even with the animosity Beth's father and Charles had. Beth knew of Charles' secret affection for a certain royal cousin of her.

"Charles, in all seriousness, tell me, will you do what the king asks of you? Hand your potential lover to someone else without even giving yourselves a chance?" Beth asked as they approached a bend and were presently standing next to a fountain.

"It's my duty to the king." he said with a sad sarcastic smile. He was trying hard to hide the heaviness in his heart.

"Oh, Charles! Don't hide what you feel. Tell me everything." Beth insisted as she pulled him to seat at the bench nearby while keeping an eye out for little Mary.

Charles sucked a deep breath and let out slowly. He didn't allow people to see his inner anxieties very often. The only ones he did talk to was the king, his closest of companion and Anthony. This would be the first time he confided to some other than his friends. " I'm scared that if I tell something to the king, he'd strip me of my title. Even more I'm scared that when Margeret finds out about what I want she'd deny me. I, Charles Brandon, a womanizer by nature, am afraid of heart break." he summed it all up with a humorless laugh at the end. On his opposite, Beth sat shocked and amused at the same time.

"Well, who knew the mighty Charles Brandon had a soft heart." Beth giggled and laughed at the same time. When her hysterics stopped she looked at Charles in a calculating manner. "You're in love." she stated to which Charles smiled a little.

"I wouldn't call it that. Fascination, maybe. A want to fuck her senseless, definitely. But love. Nah." he said it so sincerely that Beth believed the act for a very tiny second before seeing through the mask once again.

"Charles Brandon, that is my cousin you're fantisizing of." Beth warned him in mock horror. "If Harry had heard that you would have found yourself with one head short." she added seriously.

The duke smiled mischieviously, "You called him Harry." he stated. He saw colour rise through her cheeks and turned to Mary for distraction. Everyone in court noticed the king's melanchonant mood for some weeks. They immediately blamed it to Lady Anne's refusal to become his mistress and Queen Katherine's inability to get with child. But Charles knew Henry better. He had burst into Charles' apartment after he was informed of Beth's appointment as the new governess for Princess Mary. Henry had confessed the strange emotions Beth stirred, other than the obvious lust, which resembled how Charles felt for Margeret. Unfortunately, Charles couldn't just tell the king that he was harboring romantic feelings for his cousin, so he told him to give it time and the feelings would fade in time. Both men doubted it very deeply.

"It's nothing to celebrate, Charles. I've called him that since birth." Beth muttered. The colour in her cheeks had subdued a little.

Charles could feel her eyes dim a little. The cheerful air that surrounded her faltered. He knew then that talking of Henry would only pain her. "Let's get inside. It's quite cold out here, I don't think the king would be happy to find his heir in ill health." he offered which Beth took gratefully. They were just a few paces short from the sheltered hallways of Hatfield when the first winter snow fell. Beth smiled brightly, as did Mary. The princess insisted on staying out for a while which Beth granted only if would take an extra coat with her. Beth and Charles smiled contendly as the snow filled the garden.


End file.
